I Luv this Book!

Book Review:

“From the corner of his eye”

By: Dean Koontz

I am a HUGE Dean Koontz fan, but I'm also a critic. Within the horror/suspense genre, Koontz generally writes two types of novels:

1)    'Government conspiracies'

2)     'Madman chasing an innocent man/child/woman/dog/couple/ all of the above.'

The gov't ones are great, as a matter of fact, it was one of them that got me hooked on this author.

While "From the Corner of His Eye" DOES have a madman chasing innocent people, it's a very different type of suspense novel that Dean Koontz normally writes. You've been told, within the first couple of chapters, almost everything (but not quite) about who's going to die and who will live on.

But for ME, that was okay, because in THIS novel, the story of the characters--each beautifully written and fleshed out--IS the journey. "From the Corner of His Eye" is far more than suspense (and there IS still plenty of it)...it is a deep, powerful SPIRITUAL book. Yes, there are a good number of biblical references, with most characters having a biblical corollary; especially Bartholomew, one of the heroes of the story, who has as his namesake one of the lesser-known Apostles.

The characters are some of Koontz's best. The villain is deliciously loathsome, yet such a sociopath that you almost feel...not SORRY for him, but just find yourself saying "what a pathetically deluded creep!"

In the end, it's clear that Koontz is mixing a good stalker-murder-thriller with an interesting theory about religion and quantum physics... namely, that religion and quantum physics can not only coexist but actually support each other.

But…

If none of that makes sense, you probably just need to read the book!

--Amanda Eccles

Ha Ha...Really?... Its Halloween today!?

"No! Why?! Why!!!???"

Yes, that was my reaction once I had been told that one of my most treasured holidays was today.

...go ahead a laugh...
 yes... get it out of you're  systems.

In any case, I had yet again been told of something, of significant value to me, a little to late.
Halloween, a wonderful time of year where everyone can dress up as anyone this wish, receive unholy amounts of diabetic inducing sugar filled treats, and leave behind who they are if only for one night a year. That's what everyone is supposed to believe right?
WRONG!
Once you leave behind all of the childish notions of the holiday itself you're only left with one heck of a mess to clean up after.
Face it folks, this holiday is terrible unless you're one of the lucky ones celebrating it.
Take my Halloween for example.
 I had to give up any plans I had to babysit for a family friend. That was all fine and dandy, until the lights went out...
Apparently, the older teenage boy of the family I was babysitting for had decided to have a little fun in trying to frighten his siblings and possibly me.
Not going to happen buddy.
Grabbing the nearest solid object I could find as a blunt weapon and with goodwill hunting if you catch my drift. After a few fruitless runs around the entire house I still couldn't find the sneaky little weasel. Giving up, I decided to push the strange behavior to the back of my mind and continue entertaining the two twin children in my charge.
A couple of hours later another incident occurred. This time it involved a crate of fireworks, an air-horn, and a carton of eggs. Needless to say I wasn't impressed...
AT ALL!
After screaming for a solid half an hour I managed to scare both the rebellious teenage son in my care and his equally terrible partners in crime. My first inclination in figuring out exactly what day it was happened once I had explained the situation to the naughty boy's parents.
They simply laughed at my befuddled expression once I was done explaining just how their driveway had become soaked in eggs and charcoal.

"Oh come on hon! You didn't know it was Halloween?"
"Um...no."

Next Year's Halloween...

More laughter ensured as my face flushed cherry red in both anger and embarrassment, and with that explanation I quickly rushed home. Upon entering my lovely abound I quickly ignored the world around me as I picked up a Hersey's Bar, the size of my forearm, conveniently lying on the dining room table and collapsed onto my bed. I can't remember much after that, but when I woke up the next morning I had realized I had been snuggling the same bar of half eaten chocolate all night.
So with that lovely incident behind me, I have come to both love and hate this accursed holiday and I look forward to revenge-Ahem!...um I mean a good time next year.

Bad Taste in Animals

The thunder heads hung ominously in the lazy summer sky.
The thick blanket of smoldering grayish violet smoke moved sluggishly across the clear horizon as the storm clouds rumbled prematurely in the distance with the promise of rain. The air was hung heavily with a thick humidity that seemed to envelop everything in its lazy grace, and the breeze crackled silently with a sense of electricity from the far off approaching storm.
My skull made a solid "Thwacking" noise as I hit my head against my wooden work bench.I groaned in irritation as I started after the on-coming storm in frustration.
The day was so wonderful and my painting wasn't anywhere near finished, yet here was the ever present storm that had been plaguing me and my work for the past week, ready to destroy my temporary peace yet again. Annoyed, I gritted my teeth as I began to pack up my art supplies.
Afterwards I shot the nearly enveloped sky a nasty glare and stuck my tongue out childishly at the storming heavens above me, somewhat in a challenge. To my disappointment I felt a cool wetness fall onto my tongue a split second later.

'It's raining already?'
I wondered as I blinked in confusion at the still approaching storm clouds from the west. Suddenly I felt the raindrop on my tongue begin to squirm. I blinked owlishly and started cross eyed at the tip of my tongue, that was still flopping out of my mouth like a panting dog. Two beady little maroon eyes started back at my wide haze ones, that were currently growing to the size of dinner plates.

I screamed as the logical side of my brain kick started and nearly biting my tongue off in surprise.
A raindrop hadn't fallen on my tongue, heck, it wasn't even a leaf...
 it was a Lizard!
The slimy, scaly, little mutant had fallen directly onto my palate from one of the low hanging tree branches of the blooming mango tree beside me. I swatted viciously at my mouth and began panicking when I felt the small lizard's claws dig into my mouth as the terrified thing clung to my tongue for dear life. With one last heave the lizard's iron grip slipped and I chucked the reptile as hard as I could away from me. I swore I heard a tiny high pitched scream in the direction I had thrown the little nuisance but I couldn't be completely sure. Sputtering and groaning I tried in vain to rid myself of the foul taste in my mouth as I spat and licked anything else that wouldn't have tasted even as remotely as bad.
"Eeewww..."
No luck...in fact it only made it worse the more I attempted to scrape the bitter and extremely salty flavor from my tongue.
Moaning I pinched my flopping and abused appendage between my fingers and made a gimmick against the still burning taste invade my senses.
"That was...disgusting!"
                 ...
"YOU think that was disgusting? Try being covered in your spit human!"
A small high pitched voice squeaked angrily from somewhere below me.
I stopped my unnecessary failing as my eyebrows shot up into my hairline in surprise and disbelief.
"W-who said that?" I wondered as I looked around for the invisible speaking spectacle.
"Over here!" The same voice barked out, still somewhat aggravated. I shuffled towards the direction of the mysterious voice, wondering all the while if I had truly lost it or if that lizard had been poisonous somehow.
"Yea over- wait WAIT DON'T STEP ON-!"
The voice abruptly cut itself off as I heard the same soft squeaking sound I had heard a few moments before. Hastily I stepped backwards and looked around for the soft almost crying noise.
"Huh?"
 I fumbled out loud as realized the noise was directly underneath the rubber heel of my blue sneaker. Lifting my right leg I could make out a small squished form lying in the trampled grass beneath me. It still was making noise as I bent down to it. Could this has been the thing that was talking with me a second ago?
The thing whimpered in pain again and my mouth hit the ground once I realized what it was.
"Oh my sweet- what the-just...what"
 I trailed off, unable to think of anything to say that could possibly fit the situation. It was the lizard, the lizard had been talking to me.
Slowly, I gingerly picked up the small reptile, no bigger than my palm, by the it's stubby tail and held it up to examine it. It didn't look like one of the normal brownish, dull eyes, non-talking lizards that lived around here.This lizard was a unique shade of deep green, like the tree leaves of the mango tree, and had small ridges that ran down the length of its spine to its tail. Suddenly it awoke.
"Put me down! Put me down now human!" It shreiked angrily.
I frowned as I noted that this thing had quite the temper as I dangled it around by its tail.
"H-hey stop! I'm gonna be s-sick!" The poor thing wailed as it tried in vain to reach out and bite my fingers.
"Only if you promise not to bite me or leave"
It growled but none the less complied as it went limp in my grasp. Cautiously I switched from dangling it by it's tail to holding it firmly in my hand, not truly trusting the thing just yet.
"What on earth are you?" I wondered. It rolled its small rustic colored gaze at me.
"None of your business-OUCH! What was that for?!" The reptile cried as I swiftly squeezed it in my grasp.
"Don't be rude."
"You're the one crushing me to death and I'M the one that is being rude?" It sneered as it squirmed some more.
"You are the weirdest, most annoying, little creature I have ever had the displeasure of meeting." I mumbled thoughtfully as I loosen my grip slightly. I saw it twitch in annoyance but it surprised me when it unleashed a long hefty sigh instead of more biting comebacks.
"Listen, all you need to know is that I have a home and its not far from here..." at this he seemed to swallow hard, his tiny throat was visible in the process as he gulped.
 "...I really need to get back...so um...can you take me there?" It pleaded softly, almost cringing away from my inquisitive face as it awaited for its hopes to be dashed.
I simply blinked in surprise.
'Are you kidding me? This thing just did a 180 personality change! What happened to all that bravo, was it all an act?' I wondered as I started at it for a few more moments. It seemed to get sadder and more miserable as it waited for my answer.
"Sure, just tell me where before it starts raining..." I muttered softly, feeling bad for the lizard who had probably expected me to shoot it immediately down in disgust. It started back at me in disbelief and I swear I saw its little green jaw unhinged on itself in shock.
"W-what!" It sputtered out. "Really you'll take me home!"
I shrugged nonchatically as I stood from the slightly damp grass and began fishing around in my pockets for my house keys.
"Yup, how far is it?"
The little green lizard visibily sulmped over and I swear again that I could see it almost crying in relief. It then quickly recited its address as if afriad I would retract my offer any second. I realized with a smile that that his home wasn't that far away at all, probably only seven blocks at least.
A little more then half and hour later and I found myself at the foot of a very heavy metal framed door. I resisted the urge to shiver as the door reminded me briefly of one of those old wooden medievil castle doors, complete with an enourmous brass knocker in the shape of a snarling lion and heavily bolted hinges.
 'Who on earth owns a little thing like this!'
I wondered in slight terror and awe as I glanced from the terrifing door ornaminte to the excited, pratically leaping, talking, pet lizard in my right hand.
'Probably the same on who owns a magically talking reptile for a pet...'
Suddenly the door swung open to reveal
...the innocenct looking, smallest, sweetest old lady I had ever seen. She was the picture of those cookie cutter grandmothers you would see on a old 50's show. I started hard at her, trying to figure out if I was being fooled.
It was disturbing.
"Master!"
The little lizard cried as he leapt out of my hand and on to the outstreched little old womens'.
"Ah, there you are Dante, I was beginning to worry..." The shaking old women smiled brightly as she turned to me.
"Thank you so very much young lady, you will recieve your reward once you return home" The old witch croaked happily as she slowly nodded her head and without even the lifting a finger the heavy wooden door shut behind her. I started dumbly at the door all the while shaking my head in disbelief as I slowly turned arounf and began walking home.
After another half an hour later I was mulling over what I should eat for lunch as I opened the door to my house.
"I'm home!" I shouted to no one in particular as I dropped my keys in the fishbowl I used for a key holder.
I began making my way towards the kitchen when a new voice stopped me in my tracks.
"Welcome home Master!"
'Oh no'

I froze, my eyes nealy popping out of my skull as I slowly turned around. My small dog sat there innocently, staring at me with his big smothering brown puppy eyes. My throat went dry.

"Please don't tell me..." I muttered helplessly. Chewy seemed to smile at me if that were even possibly.

" I said welcome home master...so what's for lunch?"

Chewy

   

Dante

Peeved

  Everyone has one. Something that you can't and will never stand. After all it's only natural to have one little, minuscule detail that will transform the most rational of human being into snarling, raging beast of anger. It's our pet peeve...and it will drive us crazy!
Everybody has something they can't stand, mine being...well...when people other than myself (because of course its only alright when people insult themselves) call...me...
SMALL!
For the love of God! Jesus! Ghadi! Buddha! Ala! Mother Mary! Kami! and who ever else is supposed to be up there, don't call me Small!
(Lighting shoots out as thunder rumbles in the distance and I crack my knuckles threateningly one by one.)
My height is above midget legal status, thank you very much, and I definitely weigh more then 100 pounds of messily flapjacks.
I mean, come on, just because I stand at five feet, DOES NOT MEAN that I can be snapped in two like a toothpick. If anything I could probably snap the suicidal person who would ever attempt to prove that in half!
Have you ever heard the sound of a carrot snapping? Well...it is pretty much the same noise, except it will only come from the outlandish person who would dare to make such an insult.
Yes, IT IS AN INSULT TO ME! Being called small means you are either short or weak, of which I am neither. So my lovely reader, never call someone on their smallness because it just might be me.

...

 

AND GOD SAVE YOUR POOR, MISERABLE, UNFORTUNATE, SOULS WHEN THAT DAY COMES, BECAUSE GOD KNOWS WHAT I WILL DO TO YOU!*breath* I WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE BOTTOMLESS PIT OF FIRE AND LET THE RABID ANGRY ALBINO DEER FEST ON YOUR SOUL FOR ALL OF ETERNITY AS I DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE!*breath* SO NEVER CALL ME A PIPSQUEAK-MIDGET WHO CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE BEACH BECAUSE SHE'S SO SMALL SHE'LL SINK INTO THE SAND AND WHEN THE TIDE COMES IN SHE WOULDN'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT *breath* DROWNING BECAUSE SHE'S SO SMALL SHE CAN BREATH OXYGEN ATOMS THROUGH THE WATER AND THEN COULD GO RIDE ON THE BACK OF A GRASSHOPPER!!! (more ranting)



An Alchemist’s Autobiography

 

Amanda Ecclesiastes, that is my name so don't wear it out.

I was born like everybody else, though I rather not remember that practical incident, and will hopefully die like everyone else someday. If you truly want to know, I grew up in the deepest part of the South. It’s actually so deep that most won’t even consider it America anymore, what with the crazy melting pot of all kinds of people from different cultures, races, and backgrounds, mulling about everywhere. For instance, my mother’s culture hails from the proud Spanish, while my father’s heritage lies in the mystical, lost, world of Scotland. Having had these two met under any circumstances in any way was extremely unlikely, but against all odds, with both being miles from home, it still happened, and so here I am, that by-product of cultural blending. 

When have you ever heard of a Spanish Scot? Hopefully not too many times I will be given a run for my money sometime soon.

Back to my 'life' then... well as for now, I am normal.

 I have a baby brother and sister, friends, family, and an average life on little old street next to Mahi Mahi park.

 Or do I?

So, what I’m trying to get at in this? 

Simple…no one is the same as the last, and no one will ever be the same again. There is only one me, Amanda N. Ecclesiastes, and there is only one you. Unless they learn how to bring me back from beyond the grave, I am sad to say that there will never be another crazy, pyromaniac, morbid, and witty alchemist like myself! 

Oh yes, you read that right I am an alchemist.

 I my not be as good as Plato and Socrates but I’m sure better then your average nerd! 

It all started when I was young and bored I would often take apart my grandfather shelves of marvelous books and sedate my tantalizing lust for knowledge with them. It proved to have its uses, now I know the fundamentals of basic matters in all of its various forms. I even know what the human body is made out of and the amounts for each element in an individual human. 

Scary no?

Don't worry, I don’t enjoy trying to play God’s role, that is why I have left behind the world I had discovered and turned to pursue a regular lifestyle and education. 

Even though I had given up my previous life of mystic powers, I still take my love for fire, philosophy, and alchemy to a new height each and every single day. Though when I die, which I will one day, I will never by just…normal. 

Though I still need the basics of a human’s social life, I will always feel a sense of anger towards humankind for their ignorant bliss, pity towards the same pathetically foolish people that will never get to learn alchemy’s secrets, and a need to spread my crazy justice to everyone about everything. It’s not because that I’m crazy that I feel those things, it’s out of envy for what they still have that I have lost. 

The truth is, is that its innocence I have lost…because once you know alchemy you can never forget it, and the monsters that creep around the borders of every single myth and legend are as true as to me as alchemy. 

You are probably wondering, 

“But monsters! Who wouldn’t fear ghouls, spirits, chimeras, and leviathans"?

It's very simple really.

 I fear nothing...

 ...seriously nothing. 

It is part of the curse of losing your innocence, those big bad monsters luring in the dark won’t scare you anymore when you do lose your innocence. Do you want to know why? It’s because when you lose you eyes to the world, you’re already part of the darkness. So tell me then, do you think it’s possible to afraid of the dark when you are part of it, can you be afraid of yourself? 

Being an alchemist is fun, don’t get me wrong, who would like to go off seeing the world, or something impossible, or something unimaginable everyday?

Well, I can safely say that for now I would just be satisfied if those stupid chimeras, the ones that keep running around, trying eat innocent people, would just give me a breather and let me find the floor of my bedroom in peace.

You just gotta love those Dears!

You just gotta love those Dears!

The woman would not stop screaming. Martha gasped, shrieked, and pointed, all the while clinging to her husband's arm as if he were her only anchor from her furthering hysterics. Her pale, pudgy, winkled fingers were waving wildly as she kept pointing to the extraordinary catastrophe in the middle of their living room. 
Ronald slowly blinked, and blinked again as he ignored his frantic wife. His wife continued to panic as she flustered around him. 
"Ron?...Ron... Ronald! For goodness sakes tell me what is going on!"Martha screeched at him as her stray greying mane of knotted, bedside, hair whipped about her as she shook her head in frustration and anger.
Ronald sighed heavily, closing his sea sparkling blue eyes as he ran his old gnarled knuckles through his white sheet hair that sat atop his scalp like a pale wisp of a cloud.  

He couldn't believe his luck. They had found him out...again.

Ronald McDuffy groaned as he peeled the frantic, still screaming, Martha off his tailored coat, losing a few brass cuff-holders in the process, and strolled into the Prussian styled living room. Well, what was once a Prussian styled living room seeing how as how the cherry wood floor boards had been uprooted, the Prussian blue wallpaper had been ripped to shreds, and every single piece of fake gold- plated furniture had been thrown together in a enormous mound of ruble in the center of the room. Ron observed the mess and sighed again as he found a comfortable spot against the wall to slump down upon. The tired old man rubbed his leathery forehead and slowly began to clean his glasses as Mrs. McDuffy ran down the hall to phone Scotland Yard. Mr. McDuffy suddenly took up whistling an innocent sailor's tune as he diligently cleaned his spectacles.
"I hate those stupid things..."

Earlier that morning....

 A startling crash was heard as a lone street light shattered, the shards of twinkling glass beamed with the flickering bulb's light as they fell to the pavement below. From the murky darkness two glowing orbs of burning crimson fire appeared from the edge of the deathly quiet street. Slowly the sound of rhythmic tapping could be held as the creature drew nearer and nearer. The street light continued to flicker, illuminating nothing. The stalking presence continued closer to its unsuspecting victim's household, stopping on their front door mat. Pushing against the door the evil being realized that it was bolted. However, a bolted doorway wouldn't stop this terror so easily.  After observing the house a few more times the creature suddenly sprang up and into the open second story window. A soft thud could be heard as the beast landed gracefully into the house. Without much more of a sound it slid silently down the stairs and glided across the deserted halls until it reached its objective. The creature stood still, observing the room which had caused it and it's brethren so much pain. Without another thought the thing lunged and began its dastardly work. After a few more moments of carnage the rest of it's brethren had arrived and had begun to join in the fun. Hours later and the work was done. The leader stopped as it turned towards the opened window as the moon's once obscured rays, began to shine upon the monster of unspeakable terror. The angry, albino, invisible buck lifted its massive head towards the shining orb in the night sky. Its stupid unfocused eyes shone brightly in the moonlight, and gleamed with a hidden wisdom and malice buried deep within its small depths. The lead deer paused and unleashed a loud grunt towards its younger brothers and sisters, signaling that their deed was done. The abomination was destroyed. One by one the angry, albino, invisible deer fled by gracefully jumping out the window and prancing away into the foggy dusk. The lead Buck grunted again as he took one last satisfied glance around the destroyed tacky Prussian styled room and fled with his herd. They had done it. They has won. That terribly decorated living room would never plague nature with her ugly view ever again. They had won the battle, but had they won the war on all tacky placement decor furniture? 
...Of course not! This is why the angry, albino, invisible, herd of trampling deer continued on their noble journey to vanquish all that was not organic friendly living room decor around the world!

Imaginary Idiot

 

 

 

My imagination is...odd.

The things I can create with that empty, bottomless void that occupies the majority of my brain spacious unusual to say the least.

Take Baka for example. Baka is a semi pet that I enjoy having as a replacement for my conscious. He is like a Jimmie Cricket if you will, only much more demented looking. Baka is the size of my fist, with slimy, deep green, scales that cover him and a few bony spikes jutting out from his back and long tail. His little stubby arms and feet are particularly non-existent but he makes up for them with his razor sharp claws that he likes to grip onto things with and hang from them...namely my shoulder. Baka has a mouth that is vertically shaped and appears to be a never ending slit with overlapping rows of sharp needle like teeth. To be quite honest when he hangs from my right shoulder he possessively holds on in a similar fashion to a baby koala.

Despite his overall appearance what makes Baka cute, to me at least, are his enormous violet hued eyes that take up the majority of his freakishly disproportional head. His eyes could make stone melt in the middle of winter.

Above all, the thing I find the greatest about Baka is his ability to speak and his voice. It sounds similarly to a piano being put through a wood chipper, high and squeaky. Something as oddly frightening as Baka should be able to give low, deep, growls or grunts but instead he has the highest, measly, pathetic voice I have had ever the displeasure of listening to. It is the voice of my conscious but it is strangely hilarious!

Another thing particular about my strange, little, conscious is his personality. You would assume that your conscious would be the benevolent side or better half of yourself? That is entirely opposite for Baka. He insulted me, frustrates me, and causes me a great deal of grief. He pushes me to my limits but in exchange I can learn a thing or two from Baka's perspective. It feels as though he is the projection of my darker half which in turn forces me to become my own benevolent conscious in order to even the chaos out.

Baka comes to me and only me when I subconsciously need him to be there. For all the wisdom I can find from our own fanatical arguments I still find Baka to be my 'Baka' or in Japanese 'Idiot'.

Well he's still my little idiot...even if he disagrees with me immensely!