Peeved

  Everyone has one. Something that you can't and will never stand. After all it's only natural to have one little, minuscule detail that will transform the most rational of human being into snarling, raging beast of anger. It's our pet peeve...and it will drive us crazy!
Everybody has something they can't stand, mine being...well...when people other than myself (because of course its only alright when people insult themselves) call...me...
SMALL!
For the love of God! Jesus! Ghadi! Buddha! Ala! Mother Mary! Kami! and who ever else is supposed to be up there, don't call me Small!
(Lighting shoots out as thunder rumbles in the distance and I crack my knuckles threateningly one by one.)
My height is above midget legal status, thank you very much, and I definitely weigh more then 100 pounds of messily flapjacks.
I mean, come on, just because I stand at five feet, DOES NOT MEAN that I can be snapped in two like a toothpick. If anything I could probably snap the suicidal person who would ever attempt to prove that in half!
Have you ever heard the sound of a carrot snapping? Well...it is pretty much the same noise, except it will only come from the outlandish person who would dare to make such an insult.
Yes, IT IS AN INSULT TO ME! Being called small means you are either short or weak, of which I am neither. So my lovely reader, never call someone on their smallness because it just might be me.

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AND GOD SAVE YOUR POOR, MISERABLE, UNFORTUNATE, SOULS WHEN THAT DAY COMES, BECAUSE GOD KNOWS WHAT I WILL DO TO YOU!*breath* I WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE BOTTOMLESS PIT OF FIRE AND LET THE RABID ANGRY ALBINO DEER FEST ON YOUR SOUL FOR ALL OF ETERNITY AS I DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE!*breath* SO NEVER CALL ME A PIPSQUEAK-MIDGET WHO CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE BEACH BECAUSE SHE'S SO SMALL SHE'LL SINK INTO THE SAND AND WHEN THE TIDE COMES IN SHE WOULDN'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT *breath* DROWNING BECAUSE SHE'S SO SMALL SHE CAN BREATH OXYGEN ATOMS THROUGH THE WATER AND THEN COULD GO RIDE ON THE BACK OF A GRASSHOPPER!!! (more ranting)