Bad Taste in Animals

The thunder heads hung ominously in the lazy summer sky.
The thick blanket of smoldering grayish violet smoke moved sluggishly across the clear horizon as the storm clouds rumbled prematurely in the distance with the promise of rain. The air was hung heavily with a thick humidity that seemed to envelop everything in its lazy grace, and the breeze crackled silently with a sense of electricity from the far off approaching storm.
My skull made a solid "Thwacking" noise as I hit my head against my wooden work bench.I groaned in irritation as I started after the on-coming storm in frustration.
The day was so wonderful and my painting wasn't anywhere near finished, yet here was the ever present storm that had been plaguing me and my work for the past week, ready to destroy my temporary peace yet again. Annoyed, I gritted my teeth as I began to pack up my art supplies.
Afterwards I shot the nearly enveloped sky a nasty glare and stuck my tongue out childishly at the storming heavens above me, somewhat in a challenge. To my disappointment I felt a cool wetness fall onto my tongue a split second later.

'It's raining already?'
I wondered as I blinked in confusion at the still approaching storm clouds from the west. Suddenly I felt the raindrop on my tongue begin to squirm. I blinked owlishly and started cross eyed at the tip of my tongue, that was still flopping out of my mouth like a panting dog. Two beady little maroon eyes started back at my wide haze ones, that were currently growing to the size of dinner plates.

I screamed as the logical side of my brain kick started and nearly biting my tongue off in surprise.
A raindrop hadn't fallen on my tongue, heck, it wasn't even a leaf...
 it was a Lizard!
The slimy, scaly, little mutant had fallen directly onto my palate from one of the low hanging tree branches of the blooming mango tree beside me. I swatted viciously at my mouth and began panicking when I felt the small lizard's claws dig into my mouth as the terrified thing clung to my tongue for dear life. With one last heave the lizard's iron grip slipped and I chucked the reptile as hard as I could away from me. I swore I heard a tiny high pitched scream in the direction I had thrown the little nuisance but I couldn't be completely sure. Sputtering and groaning I tried in vain to rid myself of the foul taste in my mouth as I spat and licked anything else that wouldn't have tasted even as remotely as bad.
"Eeewww..."
No luck...in fact it only made it worse the more I attempted to scrape the bitter and extremely salty flavor from my tongue.
Moaning I pinched my flopping and abused appendage between my fingers and made a gimmick against the still burning taste invade my senses.
"That was...disgusting!"
                 ...
"YOU think that was disgusting? Try being covered in your spit human!"
A small high pitched voice squeaked angrily from somewhere below me.
I stopped my unnecessary failing as my eyebrows shot up into my hairline in surprise and disbelief.
"W-who said that?" I wondered as I looked around for the invisible speaking spectacle.
"Over here!" The same voice barked out, still somewhat aggravated. I shuffled towards the direction of the mysterious voice, wondering all the while if I had truly lost it or if that lizard had been poisonous somehow.
"Yea over- wait WAIT DON'T STEP ON-!"
The voice abruptly cut itself off as I heard the same soft squeaking sound I had heard a few moments before. Hastily I stepped backwards and looked around for the soft almost crying noise.
"Huh?"
 I fumbled out loud as realized the noise was directly underneath the rubber heel of my blue sneaker. Lifting my right leg I could make out a small squished form lying in the trampled grass beneath me. It still was making noise as I bent down to it. Could this has been the thing that was talking with me a second ago?
The thing whimpered in pain again and my mouth hit the ground once I realized what it was.
"Oh my sweet- what the-just...what"
 I trailed off, unable to think of anything to say that could possibly fit the situation. It was the lizard, the lizard had been talking to me.
Slowly, I gingerly picked up the small reptile, no bigger than my palm, by the it's stubby tail and held it up to examine it. It didn't look like one of the normal brownish, dull eyes, non-talking lizards that lived around here.This lizard was a unique shade of deep green, like the tree leaves of the mango tree, and had small ridges that ran down the length of its spine to its tail. Suddenly it awoke.
"Put me down! Put me down now human!" It shreiked angrily.
I frowned as I noted that this thing had quite the temper as I dangled it around by its tail.
"H-hey stop! I'm gonna be s-sick!" The poor thing wailed as it tried in vain to reach out and bite my fingers.
"Only if you promise not to bite me or leave"
It growled but none the less complied as it went limp in my grasp. Cautiously I switched from dangling it by it's tail to holding it firmly in my hand, not truly trusting the thing just yet.
"What on earth are you?" I wondered. It rolled its small rustic colored gaze at me.
"None of your business-OUCH! What was that for?!" The reptile cried as I swiftly squeezed it in my grasp.
"Don't be rude."
"You're the one crushing me to death and I'M the one that is being rude?" It sneered as it squirmed some more.
"You are the weirdest, most annoying, little creature I have ever had the displeasure of meeting." I mumbled thoughtfully as I loosen my grip slightly. I saw it twitch in annoyance but it surprised me when it unleashed a long hefty sigh instead of more biting comebacks.
"Listen, all you need to know is that I have a home and its not far from here..." at this he seemed to swallow hard, his tiny throat was visible in the process as he gulped.
 "...I really need to get back...so um...can you take me there?" It pleaded softly, almost cringing away from my inquisitive face as it awaited for its hopes to be dashed.
I simply blinked in surprise.
'Are you kidding me? This thing just did a 180 personality change! What happened to all that bravo, was it all an act?' I wondered as I started at it for a few more moments. It seemed to get sadder and more miserable as it waited for my answer.
"Sure, just tell me where before it starts raining..." I muttered softly, feeling bad for the lizard who had probably expected me to shoot it immediately down in disgust. It started back at me in disbelief and I swear I saw its little green jaw unhinged on itself in shock.
"W-what!" It sputtered out. "Really you'll take me home!"
I shrugged nonchatically as I stood from the slightly damp grass and began fishing around in my pockets for my house keys.
"Yup, how far is it?"
The little green lizard visibily sulmped over and I swear again that I could see it almost crying in relief. It then quickly recited its address as if afriad I would retract my offer any second. I realized with a smile that that his home wasn't that far away at all, probably only seven blocks at least.
A little more then half and hour later and I found myself at the foot of a very heavy metal framed door. I resisted the urge to shiver as the door reminded me briefly of one of those old wooden medievil castle doors, complete with an enourmous brass knocker in the shape of a snarling lion and heavily bolted hinges.
 'Who on earth owns a little thing like this!'
I wondered in slight terror and awe as I glanced from the terrifing door ornaminte to the excited, pratically leaping, talking, pet lizard in my right hand.
'Probably the same on who owns a magically talking reptile for a pet...'
Suddenly the door swung open to reveal
...the innocenct looking, smallest, sweetest old lady I had ever seen. She was the picture of those cookie cutter grandmothers you would see on a old 50's show. I started hard at her, trying to figure out if I was being fooled.
It was disturbing.
"Master!"
The little lizard cried as he leapt out of my hand and on to the outstreched little old womens'.
"Ah, there you are Dante, I was beginning to worry..." The shaking old women smiled brightly as she turned to me.
"Thank you so very much young lady, you will recieve your reward once you return home" The old witch croaked happily as she slowly nodded her head and without even the lifting a finger the heavy wooden door shut behind her. I started dumbly at the door all the while shaking my head in disbelief as I slowly turned arounf and began walking home.
After another half an hour later I was mulling over what I should eat for lunch as I opened the door to my house.
"I'm home!" I shouted to no one in particular as I dropped my keys in the fishbowl I used for a key holder.
I began making my way towards the kitchen when a new voice stopped me in my tracks.
"Welcome home Master!"
'Oh no'

I froze, my eyes nealy popping out of my skull as I slowly turned around. My small dog sat there innocently, staring at me with his big smothering brown puppy eyes. My throat went dry.

"Please don't tell me..." I muttered helplessly. Chewy seemed to smile at me if that were even possibly.

" I said welcome home master...so what's for lunch?"

Chewy

   

Dante